Who agrees starting his hard???

It is a new year and each year starts with the best of intentions. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves with resolutions and perhaps it is time to look at it as intentions.

A new year can be difficult.

A beautiful friend of mine helped me navigate  the new starts and I learned through the process that for me; starting is hard.

Starting a new job, starting a new friendship, starting a new relationship, starting a new family, starting a new day…no matter what it is starting may hard for some; it certainly is for me.

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to launch two yoga teacher programs in January 2019.   Not only did I launch two programs but I also finished one program.   For both adventures starting was hard.

When starting the programs, I had moments of doubt, struggled with self-worth and negative self-talk about stepping into my own power.

Preparation was easy.   

I was familiar with preparation.  I have prepared for many hearings in my career before yoga.   When participating in preparation I feel at home; it is creative, exciting and inspiring.  For me a way to describe it is preparation is like the dream, I am on my path and my dreams are coming true.

The moment the program launched and I had students in front of me the dream turned into the reality and reality scared me.  Fear almost stopped me in my tracks.

Having started the programs, I knew there was no turning back and at no time did I want to turn back and yet fear was seated right beside me as I launched the programs.

Creating a relationship with the fear that was sitting with me was what I needed to do. I had to create space for it and look inside to see why it was present. Peeling back the layers helped me discover through the process fear was a part of the self-doubt and worthiness issues I have worked with for a very long time.

My ego played a role in all of this and on the positive side my ego brought me to where I was and on the other spectrum brought forward the negative self-talk.

With all this present l continued to move through these emotions and focus on the beautiful students in front of me and a strong support system behind me.  This support system helped me identify that starting is hard.

I took time to create space around all that I was experiencing during the launch of the programs.  This space brought forward lessons such as knowing it is okay to have fear and sit in discomfort.  

A lesson to stay true to who I am and be authentic no matter the challenges I face.  

I am offering these programs from my heart and my soul and with this I know I am worthy.    I reminded myself I had a choice I could live in the fear or choose to trust and know I am on the right path.   I choose trust each and every time.

Starting was hard and provided me the opportunity to dig a little deeper within me to heal old wounds.

My invitation to you this month is to remember starting is hard.  Take one step at a time; give space to what you are feeling and know it is showing up for a reason; and find your tribe those people who love you and support you.  Starting may be hard and the discovery of what is next will be worth it.

If you have any experiences of starting something new I would love to hear it.